


League of daily life

by Roery



Category: League of Legends, lol - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Crack, F/M, ITS JUST PURE CRACK, League of Legends - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Parody, Slice of Life, crackfic, lol, references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-23 02:47:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9637505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roery/pseuds/Roery
Summary: Daily life with the champions of League. Whereby Talon is the Main Character. A crack fic the product of happiness. :>





	1. Mischief comes in many forms. (Prologue)

Chapter 0 : prologue + character sheets 

“Goddamnit Talon! Do you mind if you stop jumping over all the tables and chairs? Shit! You're leaving your goddamn footprints all over my wall. Also, you might fucking break something!”  
Zed screamed at the figure that was prancing around the room impatiently. The figure stopped abruptly upon hearing the loud and obnoxious complains of his friend and landed swiftly on the floor beside him.  
“Haha dont worry man. i won't break any bones. After all, I am parkour master if i do say so myself.” Talon replied with a grin on his face, as if amused by all the vulgarities that managed to spew out of one mouth in less than 5 mins.  
“Jesus Christ dude! I’m not worried about you. I’m worried about the freaking furniture! Do you even know how much they cost? Just that one vase over there cost me a week worth of food!” and just as Zed turned around to point in the general direction of his “precious vase” his mouth hanged wide open as he watched it slowly tip over and smash to the ground. Zeds face scrunched up like a wet cloth and he angrily lunged at the culprit who was at the moment attempting to flip himself out of the window. “TALONNNN”  
Oh shit…with his shirt collar currently being grabbed by a really really really pissed off looking guy, what else could he think? Talon mustered up a weak laugh. “Ha ha ha... maybe next time u should invest in a cloning machine to save ur stuff from falling instead of buying useless things??..."  
“HAHAH very funny...oh?” That moment, Zed’s gripped loosened slightly on Talon’s shirt collar and he looked as if he suddenly thought of something fun “You little shit, I know how to make u pay for my broken vas…” though before he could finish his sentence, Talon took the chance to slip away from his grip and flung himself out of the window. This time, without fail. 

“Damnit TALONNNNNNN”... 

“HAHA ADIOS! Mista cheapskate! That stupid vase probably cost like just a few bucks anyways HAHAH” and with a cheeky wave, Talon disappeared into the building across the road. 

“Screw you dude! Ten dollars can buy you lots of shit !... 

And that day a bunch of angry muttering was heard by all of Zeds Neighbours.. ah Talon must have done something... again... was what they thought. though the Neighbours were quite used to it already.

Next Chapter: Problems and Bunny Suits 

\--------------------------------------------------------

~~Character Sheet ( will be updated as more characters are introduced )~~ : 

-Talon: The main guy. Likes fooling around with people. Hates doing unnecessary stuff. Self proclaimed "parkour master". Has short brown hair. Supposedly bestie's with Zed. Part time job at Maclols.

-Zed: Cheapskate. Likes to live efficiently. Emits aura of death when angry. Good friends with Talon(?) even though he is a nuisance most of the time. Can't stop swearing. Job unknown.

-Katarina: Red haired babe. Good at darts (knife edition). Favourite place to hang out is Maclols. Might be a bit of a sadist. Does random jobs on the internet.

-Yasuo: Leader and or founder of National Cancer Foundation- aims to help children battle cancer. Lives near the park. Has Long brown hair which he refuses to cut. 

-Teemo: Your average Joe with short chestnut hair who is surprisingly good looking. Student. Has a bit of a lack of presence. Part time as a mascot for the Boy Scouts. Refused to remove his mascot suit. No idea why. 

-Caitlyn: Usually calm and collected, works as a police officer. Nickname, Cat. Besties with VI

-VI: Best friends with Caitlyn, also works at the police box. Is easily amused, enjoys watching people fight.

-Tristana: Teemo's Best Friend, is usually quite caring, but also enjoys fooling around. Student.

-Ezreal: Class president, in charge of most things. But no one takes him seriously. Student

-Lee Sin: Couldn't care less. Likes taking naps. Uses a red blindfold when sleeping. Student

-Soraka: Doctor. Mom like figure. Takes care of the kids.

-Akali: Soraka's assistant. Nurse. Has nice racks.

-jinx: Kinda crazy, just has a severe case of ADHD. Student

-Aatrox: Enjoys cooking. Very mysterious guy. No one really know him well. Student.


	2. Problems and Bunny Suits

In a corner of a busy street, lay the world wide famous 24 hour Fast food restaurant which changes into a bar at night, Maclols. With their famous tagline: Don't feed! Be fed instead! And at this ungodly hour of the day, sat two people talking. One with short brown hair and one with distinct red strands.  
“Sigh… you know how Zed is really really particular about his things. Now you've done goofed haven't ya. Mr ‘ self proclaimed parkour master’.”

“Oh come on Kata, it was an accident! Though uh to be honest, his expression was golden, golden with a capital G. But dude seriously, one day his mouth is gonna drop off from all the vulgarities he manages to spew!”

“Anddd I wonder whose fault that is.” Katarina replied while rolling her eyes. “ Though at the same time, he was kind of like that from the get go”.

“Exactly ! Now your getting me!” 

“Well it's getting late so we should be going soon.”

“Ah. That is true now that you mention it, perhaps I'll walk you back to the station?”

Though this made Katarina suddenly stop in her tracks and she gave Talon a stare of disbelief before exclaiming “Oh god what happened! Your not Talon !! He would never be so nice! What have you done with Talon ???”

“Hey! Rude!...... uh K..k..kata? What do you think your do..doing… it's me Talon… uh is this a joke… ITS REALLY ME…. KATA…. NOOOO...NOO”

*konk* 

 

Talon might have saw his life flash by in front of his eyes as he stared down a grey round disk that was flying at his head at maximum speed for a moment, before waking up and well… seemingly find himself tied up in a chair !

When he looked up, and blinked a few times, he saw Katarina and Zed standing in front of him with a grin on their faces.

And after a moment of silence whereby Talon took the time to process what was going on, Zed spoke up “Hey Talon. You managed to escape once… but your not gonna escape from me again! I'm going to make you pay for my fucking vase.” 

“What? Wtf man how did I even get here!” And suddenly remembering what happened, Talon glanced over at Katarina who was whistling in a corner of the room. “KATA YOU BETRAYED ME! ;-;”

“Hah, you reap what you sow andddd I was genuinely kinda curious about what you would look like in a bunny suit. So I decided to give Zeddy boy a hand here.”

“Wait what ? Bunny suit ???” 

“Welll… you see, Yasuo called around asking whether anyone would be willing to help him be a mascot for his organisation foundation event thing. And… no one replied… so we kinda felt bad for him and volunteered to help him find someone to be the mascot for his National Cancer Foundation: aiming to help children worldwide battle cancer! And we are gonna force you to do it! And Yasuo did mention that he would pay the person, so basically you can pay Zed back at the same time. There, two birds with one stone!” Katarina explained with a look of contempt and glee on her face.

“OMG NO. What does bunnies have anything to do with battling cancer anyways!?!? Come one... you guys can ask Teemo to do it! Its basically his job everyday! It’s what he does!”

Though before Katarina could say anything, Zed decided to butt in. “Well, little shit, you see Toxic Panda over there has his hands full with his current job. Being a freaking mascot for the Boy Scouts. So he can't make it for the event. And more importantly… you owe me for my goddamn vase. And I would say that you are not in a situation whereby you can say no.” And well, the moment those words left Zed’s mouth, he started emitting this amazingly strong black evil aura that felt like it could kill if anyone so much as touches it.

At this point, even Talon could figure out that no amount of hardcore parkouring would get himself out of this situation. Also, with each second of silence, the black aura was getting stronger, and deadlier…  
“I’m sorry… I'll do it” with an extra add on whisper that went something along the lines of “please don't kill me”

“What did you say?” 

“ nothing… “

“ well then, I guess this stupid matter is settled. The event is tomorrow morning at Yasuo’s place. You know where it is. Don't be fucking late… or you die .” Zed mentioned gleefully before walking out of the room.

… “ Damn you Kata.” 

“ heheh… I'm looking forward to tomorrow. At Least you don't have to cross dress or anything” was the reply that Talon got from Katarina.

What have I done to deserve this… Talon thought.

The night came and so came the day that Talon was “looking forward” to the most.

 

It was around 10am on a Sunday, As In front of a park stood a tall pink bunny that seemed rather out of place surrounded by the luscious green scenery. Furthermore, the bunny held a giant neon pink sign that had the words FIGHT CANCER, written on it in bold black words. The bunny wore a face that literally screamed, ‘get me outta here!!’ While greeting people with the most monotonous voice one could muster. “Welcome to the National Cancer Foundation Charity Event…”  
Though, when he heard, the familiar clicking noise of the camera and turned around to see a middle aged man with long brown hair pointing a camera at him. Something died inside. Ah, it was probably his dignity. 

“Face the camera!... Aw come one man, why the gloomy face? Your advertising for my awesome, amazing, first class foundation! You got to look happy! Don't make my organisation look bad.” The man who was talking, was none other than Yasuo. His hair was tied up in a ponytail, and he wore a white shirt that had the words GGEZ printed on it in a blinding neon green Color.  
“Oh? Talon, you noticed my shirt! Do you like it? I designed it myself. I can get one for you too if you like.”

“Sigh… Go away Yasuo…this is why no one likes you…”

“Say what?”

“Nothing…” 

“Sooo, you want a shirt?”

“No… I rather wear this bunny suit than be seen in that thing… what font is that? Comic Sans??”

“Aww.. i know you're just shy… you think the shirt is too good for you isn't it?”

“Ugh… I'm going to stop talking to you now.”

And just before Yasuo started spouting out a really long monologue about why his shirt was awesome. He was interrupted by a really loud sniggering that came out from behind him. They both turned around to see Zed holding up his phone and snapping pictures of the bright pink bunny. Though at the same time, Talon didn't seem to care. He was just really grateful that Zed had appeared just in time to stop Yasuo from beginning his monologue. 

“I love you Zed”

“What the fuck was that Talon? Gross as hell…”

“I thought i was going to die if Yasuo opened his mouth. You really saved my soul.”

“Oh. Ya sure?” Even someone like Zed knew how painful Yasuo was when it came to talking about himself and the things that he liked or did. Yasuo’s mouth was like a machine gun, it fired shots non stop. At people, both mentally and physically. 

The event was held at a park that was near Yasuo’s house. But the actual headquarters of the National Cancer Foundation was this seven story tall building that towered above the sky. Why Yasuo needed seven floors? Nobody knows. Though surprisingly, the foundation had quite a lot of members and was rather wealthy. Well, obviously, if they could afford to own a seven story tall building… Some people say that they are actually a secret underground organisation, but that was honestly just a myth. Teemo thinks they use it to store their bullets, whenever they run out of Ammo to fire shots. 

As usual, Yasuo was once again trying to recruit people to join their organisation, in particular, Zed. Though, he has asked before, twenty times, and was rejected twenty times, but he still decided to try again.

“So, Zed. Join my organisation! You'll be very welcomed here.”

And as usual, Zed replied with two simple words. “Fuck no”

Seeing this scenery of savageness and burn, Talon couldn't help but laugh. Then he suddenly remembered something. “ Wait a minute… Zed… what were you holding the phone just now… and uh where's Kata?”

“Heh, that little lady ,mentioned that she had a request from a customer for an odd job so she couldn't make it today. You should have seen that amazing look of regret on her face as she walked off to meet her stupid clients. Hahaha! So, I'm taking photos to commemorate this beautiful god damned day and i will very much be sending them to everyone.”

“NOO, DELETE THEM NOW!”

“And why should i do that hahaha ??”

“I’ll pay you back for your vase Kay?? So please delete them… I'll pay you double!”

“Nope, no can do… Easter bunny.”

At that moment, Talon knew that there was no way to make Zed delete those pictures from his phone. So his last resort was to get it from zed by himself and delete them. It was his pride versus his life. So Talon threw the bright pink sign on the ground and lunged at Zed, trying to grab his phone from him. But Zed managed to react in time and quickly swiped the phone to his left. Though before that, he saw a bright pink bunny fist come down on his head. Talon and Zed then tumbled to the ground and started to roll around as both tried to obtain ownership of the phone in a blur of pink fur and white hair. 

“WHAT THE FUCK DUDE”

“GIVE ME THE PHONE”

“GET OFF ME”

“FUCK YOUR HEAVY”

Were some examples of the things that could be heard flying out from the two men tumbling around on the ground. One who was wearing a bright pink bunny suit…

It was quite a sight to see, a bunny and an albino struggling as they ‘fought’ each other in the middle of the park, in the middle of an event, surrounded by a bunch of people. 

Talon saw the phone right in front of his eyes, and just as he was about to reach out and grab it, he was lunged by his bunny ears back onto the ground by Zed. At this point in time, both of them were lying on the ground and they both were quite tired, after tumbling round for 15mins or so. At this point, Yasuo walked up to them and picked up the phone that was lying on the ground. 

“Hey! Give that back!” They shouted in unison as Yasuo pocketed the phone. 

“Haha, man what are you guys doing?? Please don't kill each other here. I will give ya guys free shirts!” Yasuo replied with a grin on his face.

“Fuck off! Who wants your shirts?”

“Awww stop being so shy guys… oh and by the way, I called the police.”

“WHATT???”  
And just as they said that, the sounds of police sirens could be heard coming from a distance. And seconds later, a police car pulled up at the park entrance, and out stepped officers Caitlyn and VI. 

“So, we got a report saying how two guys were brawling in the middle of the park, one of them has white hair and the other was decked out in a pink bunny suit…”  
Caitlyn spoke in a rather commanding and cool voice, which wavered upon reading the words bunny suit, and eyeing the half dead Talon that was lying on the ground.  
“........ I’m assuming that, the people in the description would be you guys…”

VI spoke up as she found the situation at hand rather amusing, and was obviously trying her best not to laugh… “Well, you're under arrest now.”

Man, it was not a good day for Talon.

-end of chapter -

 

Next : Side story: Teemo’s predicament

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank You for reading! :D I really appreciate you checking out my work :)  
> It's my first time writing fanfics/ crackfics in this case, so i apologise if my writing is a little bit wonky. Haha. What do you think? Next chapter will be a random side story about Teemo! So yeah! Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as i   
> enjoyed writing it. ( Apologises if i threw some shade at Yasuo haha) 
> 
> Tq very much!
> 
> Sincerely, Roery


	3. Side Story: Teemo's Predicament

Teemo sat at the backseat of the lecture theater, right next to the window on the left. Ah yes, the seat reserved for the main character. What a sweet place to sit. Though, the door of the lecture theatre was directly opposite of Teemo’s seat, and the people who walked in were greeted with the scenery of a fluffy brown red panda mascot costume sitting in the corner of the room. As usual, Teemo refused to take off his work outfit, no matter who said what. 

“Hey! Hey!” Teemo heard an obnoxiously loud voice that came over from the door. Teemo saw Tristana’s easily recognisable white hair as she trudged towards him with a grin on her face.  
“ I see you're still attracting all of that attention ay! Man you practically live in that costume.”

Teemo turned his mascot head to face Tristana and replied with an annoyed tone. “ Get off my case Tris.”

“Haha. How do you even manage to get away with this in school? Teach me, senpai.”

“Oh it’s quite simple really, when teachers ask me to take off my costume, I simply say, okay”

“What? How does that work ?”

“Oh right, I forgot, I add in an extra sentence. Sure, if you want to see me naked that is.”

“WAIT WHAT?? YOU MEAN YOU’RE WEARING YOUR BIRTHDAY SUIT UNDER THAT PANDA?”

“Well, I do put on underwear.”  
“...”  
Tristana slowly brought her palm up into her face and sighed with exasperation. “What do i do with you... Ah well, I just came over to tell you not to be late tomorrow, it is our special class outing day after all.”

“Oh okay, thanks”

“Oh and Ezreal told me to tell you that he begs you to please please pleeaaassseee don't wear your mascot costume tomorrow.”

“No promises”

“Well, I can’t really force you or anything, but Ezreal said that he would be very very sad.”  
Tristana then turned around and bounced out of the room the same way which she came in.

 

The next day:

Ezreal looked up at the time and started prancing around the room. “Tristana! I told you to remind him, he always forgets!”

Tristana merely shrugged her shoulder and gave Ezreal a look that went “I don know”

And just as Ezreal decided that they could no longer wait for Teemo to come, the door to the room opened and in walked a giant red panda… at least half of one.

Ezreal stared at Teemo for a moment, processing what he was seeing with his eyes. Teemo was wearing the bodysuit from his costume and not the head. To which Ezreal was rather content with. “Well… good enough. I guess? At least you’re not wearing your mascot head. It simply wouldn’t fit in the van.”

Teemo was surprisingly good looking, he had short chestnut brown hair and green eyes, with a rather handsome face. Making everyone question why Teemo would wear that panda costume everywhere.

“Well, now that you’re here, lets get moving!’  
And with that, everyone piled out of the room and into the van, heading to the outing site. 

 

 

It was around 9pm at night, when Ezreal burst into the room where the guys were sleeping for the night. And shouted “Guys! Can anyone here cook? We need some help with preparing dinner.”

Lee Sin, who was spread out on the ground in a really weird position wearing a red blindfold while taking a nap was woken up by Ezreal's loud entrance. “ Ughhh. Go ask the girrllsss” Lee Sin said in a very sleepy and drowsy voice before flipping back onto the ground and going back to sleep. Ezreal didn't say anything but he spotted Teemo, who was squatting on the ground using his phone. And still, refusing to take off his panda suit. 

“How do you even type on your phone through those panda paws??” 

“Magic”

“... uh okay, well can you help us with the cooking? I already asked the girls but they kinda abandoned us…”

“Ya sure.” 

“Thanks bro” 

And Teemo proceeded to sit up and followed Ezreal to the kitchen. In the kitchen area, Teemo spotted Tristana and Aatrox furiously chopping away at some vegetables without paying much attention to him. “Sooo, how can i help?”

“Well you can help us finish the mushroom soup and cook the rice.” 

“Okay then.” Teemo then proceeded to the kitchen counter and started on his work. A few moments later, someone walked in with an excited look on their face. “Something smells realllyyyyy good !”

Ezreal looked up saw Jinx standing at the door. “Hey jinx! Do you mind helping us out a little?”

“HAHA... Nope! I can't cook! At All!” And before Ezreal could reply, jinx did a smooth swish with her hair and proceeded to trudge away from the kitchen in the strangest fashion, her long blue braids swinging around behind her. 

Teemo didn't know how they managed to do it, but somehow, dinner was served. 

Everyone crowded around the table and started wolfing down the food that was presented in front of them. 

“Man . This is great!” Said jinx as she picked up the bowl of mushroom soup and gulped it down.  
And everyone agreed. “That panda really can cook eh!”

After dinner, the whole class went to sleep. But It was moments later that Tristana woke up with a splitting headache. When she looked around, she saw clean white walls and realised that something was off. This was not the room she remembered falling asleep in. She looked up to see a green haired nurse tending to her, and realised where she was. A hospital? Tristana also couldn't help but notice the huge rack attached to her chest which bounced up and down, up and down. The nurse noticed that Tristana was awake and stood up next to her. 

“Oh hello, my name is Akali. Glad to see you awake.” 

“Ughh… what happened?”

“Oh my, you were knocked out pretty badly weren't you? Guess you don't remember anything. Well yesterday, a whole group of people were suddenly admitted to the hospital due to a severe case of food poisoning. Well, mushroom soup poisoning to be exact.”

“Wait what? Food poisoning? “

“Yeah. And a cute guy wearing half a panda suit(?) carried you in.”

“Oh…” Tristana felt herself blush a little.

“Well you seem fine, but I'll have the doctor examine you again just in case. She'll be here in a moment.”

And just like nurse Akali said, a doctor came over from the other room and sat down beside Tristana's bed.  
However, when she looked around, Tristana noticed that there were only girls in the room with her. Beside her lay Jinx, and Tristana realised just how much of a board that Jinx was after looking at nurse Akali's boobs. Heck, even Tristana's were big compared to Jinx. But the main point was that all the guys were missing. Tristana decided to ask the doctor what was up.  
“Uh. Doc, where happened to all the guys?”

The doctor looked up and sniggered. “ oh my, worried about your Boyfriend?”

“Wha...wha...wha no!”

“Haha okay, I'm just joking with you. They all went home just now after I examined them." "Didn't they get food poisoning?" "Well, yeah! But the moment they took one look at akali, they suddenly all felt perfectly fine!”

“...wait what?”

“Well… except for one of the guys… he got a random severe nosebleed and is currently getting blood transfusion in the next room. What was his name again? Ezreal?”

“...”

“Akali works wonders! I wonder why though. They all felt perfectly fine after glancing at her chest area. Hmm... ah Well, you seem fine now, so if you need anything, just feel free to call for me. My names Soraka.” 

“Okay… thank you?”

Tristana suddenly remembered what nurse Akali had mentioned. “ mushroom soup poisoning?” and suddenly it all dawned on her…  
“I'm gonna kill him tomorrow."

~~~meanwhile~~~

Teemo was on his way home from the hospital, still refusing to remove his costume. He suddenly felt a cold shiver down his spine. Perhaps it was just his imagination. “Hmm… maybe I put too many mushrooms in the soup… ah well! Oops.”

-end of side story- 

 

Previous chapter: Problems and Bunny suits  
Next chapter: I was arrested

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. I hope you enjoyed that!  
> Honestly did not know what I was writing haha.  
> (And btw jus to clear some stuff. This is alt universe so lore does not apply.)
> 
>  
> 
> THANK YOU :D  
> You are beautiful<3

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys. Just posted this on impulse cause my Friend said to jus do it HAHAHA XD sorry if it's like really short. It's Jus a little prologue (?) for an idea that I had one day, might continue the story if I feel like it :) and boy Zed. Chill ... haha XD  
> 


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